A couple of months ago we made a trip north to Michigan for a funeral.  Although the circumstances were not good, we were glad to get to see our family and friends.  I was nervous for the long drive, (Painfully long! Like, over ten hours long) with a nearly three-year-old.  We loaded the car with sticker books, coloring books, new movies to watch and snacks, then crossed our fingers and said a prayer.

Oliver did so great being in his carseat for the long drive.  He only asked a few times if we were there yet, or how much longer until we would be there.  Being that he is so little, we had explained it by saying we were getting in the car right when we wake up in the morning, and we will drive all day long and be there around the time that we would normally eat dinner.

At one point in the drive, a bit past halfway, he asked if we were almost there.  We patiently explained, in toddler terms, how much longer it would be until we would arrive.  A couple of minutes went by with no talking and in his little voice he said something that rang so true with me, “Waiting is hard”.  We replied with, “Yes buddy, waiting is hard”, and boy did we mean it.  I love the simplicity and honesty Oliver brings to life.  I would be lying if I said my kiddo doesn’t challenge me in such a good way through some of the things he says.

I never want to wait.  Patience has never been a strength of mine.  I am always looking, reaching and striving for the next thing.  I get excited, I want to move forward, and I want it all now!  Because I struggle with waiting, I often miss the beauty in the journey of life because I am stuck on the fact that I am just not there yet.  I forget that I am sitting next to the ones I love the most.  I forget that each thing we pass by was made by God and is on purpose.  I forget that He shapes me in the waiting.  The wait gives me the true opportunity to depend on God and trust in His perfect timing for my life.  But sometimes my anxiety and impatience take over, and I miss out on what is right in front of me as I strain to peer off into the distant future.  No matter how many times I realize that my focus is off, I do it again and again.  Luckily, God is gracious and patient with me.

After our long drive we were thankful to arrive at Shaun’s parent’s house in Michigan.  We both grew up in Michigan, so coming back always feels like returning to our roots.  I had forgotten how pretty and green Michigan is in the summer, a bit more lush and less hot and humid than Nashville.  I looked back at one carseat in our car, wishing there was two.  One little girl is always missing.  We piled out of the car, ready to be present with all of the people we would see.  We would grieve with family and say goodbye to someone special, spend the 4th of July making memories with family (this may have included a basement rock concert that we all shamelessly took part in), and catching up with good friends.

In the moments when I am in waiting, when it’s hard and when it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, like tomorrow will never come, or like I will never reach my destination, may I remember that there is beauty in the journey and that I do not travel through life alone.  I don’t see the big picture and all of the details that God knows.  He is looking out for me.  Waiting is hard, but waiting is worth it.