When I was growing up, I always knew how old my mom was, (or would be turning that year) because of my age. She turned thirty the year I was born, so if I was turning six then I knew…
Two
It happened eight days before Lucy’s birthday this year. My own personal, gray grief cloud rolled in to hang out with me through my every move. Dread set in, sadness, and a paralyzing apathy towards normal things in life. I…
One Year
Two days ago, Lucy would have turned one year old if she was still here with us. I had been dreading this day for months, scared of what it would feel like. I don’t want her and the memories of…
Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. We are joining with others across the world who are also missing their little ones. Everyone has been invited to light a candle at 7pm, in all time zones, and let it…
Losing Lucy Changed My Faith
It has been said that in tragedy people either run away from God or run towards Him. I get the sentiment in this saying, but for me there was no running involved; I really just breathlessly collapsed into His lap. …
Six Months
Every day hurts, but today hurts a lot. Six months ago our sweet Lucy was born, and six months ago we lost her. It was hello and goodbye in the same day. We went to visit her this morning on…
Lucy’s Things
A couple of weeks ago, I finally mustered up the courage to go into Lucy’s room and box up her things. To set aside the baby items. To make the bed where guests will sleep. To let go of the…
Life After Losing Lucy
After Lucy was born, I was able to be out of work for awhile on maternity leave and family medical leave because of my insurance through my job at Journeys. I had sixteen weeks. Sixteen weeks that when they were…
Life Before Lucy
Before Lucy was born, Shaun was a full-time, professional musician. He played lead guitar for a band called Sidewalk Prophets. The band toured a ton, so this meant a whole lot of time away from home. The few times that…
Five Months
Today, Lucy would be five months old if she was here with us. Five….months…. I miss Lucy every single day, but the 28th of every month is really hard. When Oliver was a baby, we took photos of him each…
Things That Helped Us
I want to share some things that we found to be really helpful throughout the process of bereavement. God. We truly felt like God held us through all of this, and he’s still holding us. We felt his grace and…
Grief To Me
Riding the waves of grief is crazy and hard. Oliver brings me so much joy. Each moment that I get to spend with him is a gift, and I am so thankful for him. I have a lot of things…
