Every day hurts, but today hurts a lot. Six months ago our sweet Lucy was born, and six months ago we lost her. It was hello and goodbye in the same day. We went to visit her this morning on…
Lucy’s Things
A couple of weeks ago, I finally mustered up the courage to go into Lucy’s room and box up her things. To set aside the baby items. To make the bed where guests will sleep. To let go of the…
Life After Losing Lucy
After Lucy was born, I was able to be out of work for awhile on maternity leave and family medical leave because of my insurance through my job at Journeys. I had sixteen weeks. Sixteen weeks that when they were…
Life Before Lucy
Before Lucy was born, Shaun was a full-time, professional musician. He played lead guitar for a band called Sidewalk Prophets. The band toured a ton, so this meant a whole lot of time away from home. The few times that…
Things That Helped Us
I want to share some things that we found to be really helpful throughout the process of bereavement. God. We truly felt like God held us through all of this, and he’s still holding us. We felt his grace and…
Grief To Me
Riding the waves of grief is crazy and hard. Oliver brings me so much joy. Each moment that I get to spend with him is a gift, and I am so thankful for him. I have a lot of things…
Going Back to Church
Several weeks went by after we lost Lucy before we made it back to a Sunday service at our church. In my previous post, I talked about why I withdrew for a period of time. In the earliest part of…
Why I Withdrew
After we lost Lucy, I naturally withdrew for awhile to process what happened, wade through the deepest depths of grief and physically heal. Besides at Lucy’s memorial, there were good friends of mine that I didn’t see for weeks. I…
White Balloon
We really wanted Oliver to get to be involved in something for Lucy. As I mentioned in my previous post, he did not come to her burial and memorial services. We decided that we would have him release a white…
Telling Oliver
This sweet little man. I am backing up a bit in the story to talk about being immediately faced with the reality that we had to tell Oliver what had happened right after we lost Lucy. We had been preparing…
Lucy’s Memorial Service
Lucy’s burial was very private. We only invited our immediate family and our pastor and his wife to attend. Her burial is something that I’m choosing to keep for ourselves and not write about. The only reason I am bringing…
Tough Decisions
One of the harsh realities of losing our baby was that it caused us to have to make some tough decisions. Despite feeling as if we were drowning in deep grief, we had to somehow find a way to suck…
