I am a sucker for pretty papers and notebooks. I have been for as long as I can remember. I got a Rifle Paper Co., 2017, spiral-bound planner for Christmas from my boys. It’s crisp, new and feminine with its…
Two
It happened eight days before Lucy’s birthday this year. My own personal, gray grief cloud rolled in to hang out with me through my every move. Dread set in, sadness, and a paralyzing apathy towards normal things in life. I…
Morning Tea in my “L” Mug
I was up super early this morning, 4:33am to be exact. I woke up for the one night nursing session that I still have with Ezra. He always wakes right around 4:30am and it is our best nursing session of…
When Love Grows
Oliver is four now and Ezra is eight months old. I can hardly believe that more than half of a year has passed since Ezra was born. He loves to jump and has the same sweet, sticky-up hair that Oliver…
37 Weeks
It has been awhile since I have written a thoughtful post. You know, the kind that consists of me spilling out my feelings to you? That kind. : ) Blogging has been tricky for me. It’s not in my nature…
One Year
Two days ago, Lucy would have turned one year old if she was still here with us. I had been dreading this day for months, scared of what it would feel like. I don’t want her and the memories of…
January
Is it really 2015? I can barely believe it. Christmas was difficult because there should have been a little girl in our arms, likely peeling back wrapping paper for the first time in her life. I am sure that her…
Yesterday I Was Nervous For Today
Yesterday, I never changed out of my pajamas. I went to bed last night in the same purple and pink stripes that I woke up in and my fuzzy slippers never left my feet. I had streaks of makeup on…
Nine Months
It has been nine months since we said hello and see you again someday to Lucy. The 28th of each month brings on a deeper sadness for me than all of the other days. I think of her constantly and…
I Was Wrong
Today I am going to cut straight to the point. I am here to tell you that I was wrong. Right after we lost Lucy, I would hear about pregnant friends and see a lot of baby bump photos, pregnancy…
Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. We are joining with others across the world who are also missing their little ones. Everyone has been invited to light a candle at 7pm, in all time zones, and let it…
Losing Lucy Changed My Faith
It has been said that in tragedy people either run away from God or run towards Him. I get the sentiment in this saying, but for me there was no running involved; I really just breathlessly collapsed into His lap. …
