When I was growing up, I always knew how old my mom was, (or would be turning that year) because of my age. She turned thirty the year I was born, so if I was turning six then I knew…
Six Stockings
Six stockings. Four babies. Only three kids here. I love Christmas! Decorating our home for the holiday brings me so much joy. I am deeply grateful for my family and for the stockings we have been blessed to add to…
Three
I am a sucker for pretty papers and notebooks. I have been for as long as I can remember. I got a Rifle Paper Co., 2017, spiral-bound planner for Christmas from my boys. It’s crisp, new and feminine with its…
Two
It happened eight days before Lucy’s birthday this year. My own personal, gray grief cloud rolled in to hang out with me through my every move. Dread set in, sadness, and a paralyzing apathy towards normal things in life. I…
Morning Tea in my “L” Mug
I was up super early this morning, 4:33am to be exact. I woke up for the one night nursing session that I still have with Ezra. He always wakes right around 4:30am and it is our best nursing session of…
When Love Grows
We have two kids with us, one born before Lucy and one born after. I look at our baby and my mind races through all that has occurred over the past nearly two years in our family. I can’t believe…
37 Weeks
It has been awhile since I have written a thoughtful post. You know, the kind that consists of me spilling out my feelings to you? That kind. : ) Blogging has been tricky for me. It’s not in my nature…
32 Weeks
I was a ball of nerves for weeks before Lucy’s birthday. I felt really paralyzed. There were heaps of laundry, a messy house and unproductive days. When we got to the other side of it, I was not feeling much…
One Year
Two days ago, Lucy would have turned one year old if she was still here with us. I had been dreading this day for months, scared of what it would feel like. I don’t want her and the memories of…
Dark Closets
I would assume that almost no one loves confrontation, but some of us seem to be wired to be more equipped to deal with it than others. I choose my battles but tend to be a pretty confrontational person. I…
Yesterday I Was Nervous For Today
Yesterday, I never changed out of my pajamas. I went to bed last night in the same purple and pink stripes that I woke up in and my fuzzy slippers never left my feet. I had streaks of makeup on…
Nine Months
It has been nine months since we said hello and see you again someday to Lucy. The 28th of each month brings on a deeper sadness for me than all of the other days. I think of her constantly and…
